Wednesday, April 29, 2015

You know those days when you're trying to fix the bottle like a one handed wizard, and you've got your crying kid on your hip, and by the time you're leaving the kitchen to go feed them and get them down, you notice they're already eating the dirty dish scrubber you got from your bridal shower that looks like a naked man? 

Or those days you're FINALLY going to get to eat before 3 in the afternoon, and grab the last piece of lemon poppyseed bread and your kid knocks it out of your hand and it goes crumbling down the stairs?

Or you find that piece of cantaloupe that went flying through the air that morning, when you step on it and it mushes under your foot?

Or when you actually fix your hair in the rare two seconds you find you can, and your baby grabs it in a death grip and rips it out in an attempt to eat it?

Or when you decide to not fix your hair because of the situation mentioned above, and after your kid smacks her Banana covered hands on either side of your face and leans in, mouth open, and eats your forehead and slides that open mouth up and over your head.. you think, "Great. Natural hair gel"

Or the day you notice that new mole on your leg and start to panick just a little aaand then it rubs off when you wipe some spit on it, and you realize you've been walking around with some au natural banana body lotion on all afternoon?

Or that day you set the remote down in pee...

Or the day you decide maybe you'll eat something at the same time as your baby and she smacks your food right out out of your hand. And you soon find yourself feeding your baby with one arm and pulling inspector gadget with your other arm. And while your armpit's pressing against the side of the rocker you think to yourself "really? Am I really gonna eat that off the floor?" And decide it's probably a good thing you couldn't reach it?
Yeah. Me too.

1 comment: